How Acceptance Can Help You Stop Overthinking Everything

Acceptance: Because Apparently Controlling Everything Isn't a Sustainable Life Strategy

Who would have thought, hey?

What Is Acceptance, Really?

I truly believe that learning to master the art of acceptance is one of the greatest keys to happiness. But what do I even mean when I say "acceptance"?

Let me explain.

You know how in the five stages of grief, the final stage is acceptance? That stage exists for a reason. Our brains and bodies need some form of acceptance to move forward — to stop clinging to what we can't change.

Usually, grief is about losing something deeply meaningful.

But what if we applied that same framework to the irrational things that trigger our anxiety?

Applying Acceptance to Everyday Anxiety

Hear me out.

Let’s say you’re spiralling because you think you might have upset a friend.

You care about them, so the idea of hurting them triggers all kinds of anxious thoughts and self-doubt.

Normally, you'd stay stuck in your head — mentally replaying every word, every look, every emoji — until you get confirmation that they’re not upset.

But what if the key to moving forward in that moment isn’t getting reassurance... it’s accepting that they might actually be upset with you?

Instead of exhausting yourself with mental gymnastics, acceptance gives you back your energy. It creates space to shift focus toward what’s actually in your control.

And here's a reality check:

You cannot control everything in this life — especially not other people’s emotions.

Fighting Reality = Suffering

When we resist reality — whether it's our feelings, a bad day, or someone else's behavior — we double our pain.

Acceptance doesn’t mean you like what’s happening. It just means you stop adding mental struggle on top of it.

You stop saying, “This shouldn’t be happening!” and start asking, “Okay, this is here… now what?”

The Chinese Finger Trap Analogy

I want to share the Chinese finger trap analogy because it was a huge "aha" moment for me.

If you’ve never heard of it: the harder you pull, the tighter the trap gets. But when you pause and stop resisting, it loosens.

Our thoughts, fears, and need for control work the same way.

Watch this short video — he explains it perfectly: Watch here

Okay, So How Do You Actually Accept Things?

Now you’re probably sitting there like, “I get it. Hurry up and teach me how to accept things.” Fair.

Acceptance is a skill. Like any other skill, it takes practice, self-awareness, and a bit of trial and error.

Here’s a thought process I personally use, along with two examples to show it in action: